Michigan Pro Hockey Tour - January 1998

Hi everyone!!

December was an emotional roller coaster for Dean and I. I'll tell you the bad news first, and I'll try to keep it short and leave out all the gory details, then I can get on with the good news and concentrate on that.

I spoke a bit too soon in my last letter about our pregnancy. If you haven't already heard, we miscarried around December 10th, about two weeks after our big announcement. We were six weeks along. For the first week, I felt like my heart would break, but Dean, bless his heart, always helps me stay focused on the positive and we decided there was one good thing that came out of it: at least now we know that we can conceive. We've never tried before so there's always that initial worry that there might be unknown problems. Of course I felt a little foolish because then we had to go back and tell everyone that it was a false alarm, and I had even made the comment that I probably wouldn't be so quick to tell people the next time it happened. But Angie, a friend I've made here, miscarried twins a year ago, FIVE months into her pregnancy. One was stillborn and the other died in her arms. It doesn't matter how good or bad you think you've got it, somebody can always top your story. I can't imagine her grief. Anyway, she told me that: 1) You can't help yourself but to get excited when you discover you're pregnant, so don't even try to supress it and 2) If I don't allow myself to get as excited the second time as I did the first time, I'm not being fair to the second baby or myself. I had to agree with her so as soon as we have news again, I'll tell right away.

I was also going to go to New York this month with my girlfriend, Marlo, for some Christmas shopping and see Greenwich village and Rockerfeller Center, etc. but at the time I had to arrange for my ticket with only a seven day advance, I wasn't sure if I was actually miscarrying. We were waiting for the results from blood tests and the doctor told me to lay low so I had to cancel the trip. Marlo is married to a doctor and she's pregnant herself so she completely understood but we were both disappointed. I'll get there someday.

Later in the month, Dean sustained an injury in a game in Cleveland that stopped my heart when I heard about it. It's the type of injury every athlete's wife has nightmares about. He was racing into the corner after the puck and he had a Cleveland forward right on his heels so he was going at top speed. The guy tripped him and sent him headfirst into the boards. Knocked him out cold. They revived him and he skated off the ice himself but he doesn't remember anything about the game before that time. He ended up with a mild concussion, but he's lucky he didn't break his neck. He couldn't play in any games for a week. He was allowed to practice but no contact. Then one day (yes, there's more) the coach decided he wasn't getting enough of a workout just going through the motions at practice so he told Dean to stay after and ride the bike. Normally, this isn't a big deal, guys have to do it all the time and oftentimes, they do it anyway, of their own accord. Dean especially, because he's such a rink rat. This day, however, coach wanted Dean to ride for a full hour at the highest level. He came home exhausted and was still sweating two hours later. All he could do was flop on the couch and he was drinking water as fast as he could. WARM water so it would absorb faster (blech.) About three hours after he got home, he rolled off the couch holding his legs and screaming in agony. He couldn't even talk to me and I didn't know what was wrong. I wanted to call an ambulance because he was scaring me but after a few minutes the pain lessened and he said he was just cramping really hard in his thighs. He said it was just because he was so dehydrated and he couldn't push the water fast enough. Goodness, I'll tell you what, being a professional athlete isn't always the cake walk some people think it is.

Okay, enough wallowing, on with the positive stuff.

The Griffins had their annual Christmas party at a resort in Traverse City, right on the northeast shore of Lake Michigan. It's about three hours north of Grand Rapids and the resort that they put us up in for the three days was gorgeous. We were going to go snowmobiling and skiing but we weren't sure at the time if I was miscarrying or not so under doctor's orders we just took it easy. I spent the weekend at the spa. :-) I told Dean that I was supposed to relax so a massage was definitely in order. He just chuckled and said, "whatever." One of the other wives, Josette, and I had to come back a day early for work so while everyone else rode together in the bus, we drove separately in the car. It was nice to spend the time getting to know her and Todd a little better. Some of my friendships here are starting to get a little closer, finally.

Christmas was actually really nice this year. We weren't sure what to expect, being just the two of us this time. Usually we're surrounded by lots of people and we have a big Christmas dinner with about 30 of my aunts, uncles, cousins and friends, it's all turkey and games and kids and wonderful chaos. But we made it very special and started some of our own traditions (none of your business :-) ) We made our own little turkey breast, some gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing and corn. We even thought about making a jello mold for dessert, just because, but we were both so stuffed neither one of us wanted to get up to make it. Ha. Santa was good to me, too. He brought me a remote car starter for my car, a new 300 mHz Gateway computer, a couple of big goose down pillows for our new bedroom set, a cappucino maker so I can have hot chocolate with steamed milk in the morning, a new space heater for my office (old faithful finally gave up the ghost), a few CD's I had been wanting, including the soundtrack from Mystere, the Cirque de Soleil, which was a show we saw in Vegas, and a couple boxes of my favorite chocolates - Bavarian mints.

Dean got a couple of his favorite movies, some guitar music books so he can play something besides "Rocky Top" (and save my sanity), ping pong paddles and balls, socks & underwear (kind of an annual joke), a heating massage pad and lots of spicy jerky and salsa from my sister, DOTS and licorice (his favorite), a nose hair trimmer (he's obsessed about getting as much oxygen to his muscles as possible) a few CD's of his own, and a moose picture mouse pad from my aunt Linda, so he wouldn't be homesick for Alaska, and a Donald Duck tie and a Jeff Foxworthy calendar from Kristina, a cousin. He also got a wall calendar with twelve beautiful pictures of outhouses as a joke from my sister. Thanks, Tracy, I was hoping for Anne Geddes. The Griffins gave all the guys a beautiful wool and suede jacket with the Griffins logo on the front left. He was happy this year.

I also wanted the CD soundtrack to On Golden Pond, but we couldn't find it anywhere. The orchestral compositions in that movie are sooooo great, and the movie itself is simply a classic. Oh well, we'll keep looking. If anybody happens to come across it, please tell me where I can get it. Thanks. I also bought some board games after Christmas because we don't have any at all and Dean and I taught ourselves how to play chess - finally! Little Jimmy Butler was an inspiration for me. What a great game this is!! Right now, all we really know is which ways each piece can move but as soon as we get the new computer running (more on that later), I'm going online to look up some strategies for attack. Dean's job is all about strategy so he works in it every day and thinks that way by habit. What I'm trying not to say is that he's very good at anticipating my next moves and he's kicking my patoot in chess and I'm starting to get mad! I'll keep you posted because we're starting to keep score as to who wins how many games. Right now, he's only a little bit ahead, it just seems like I have to work at it a lot harder than he does. He goes after my queen all the time and if he manages to capture her, I lose every time. Aaaargh!! This game is as great / frustrating as golf. I love it.

The team captain, Danton Cole, had a Christmas party at his house this year. This is one of the guys who has a Stanley cup ring - he played for the Blackhawks when they won a few years ago. He's got pictures on the frig of he and his wife and daughters posing around the cup and another one of him drinking out of it. Neat. He and his wife, Debbie, are two of the sweetest people I've ever met and their two little girls are adorable - both with bright blonde hair and the cutest personalities. Maddie, about three years old, kept asking all night what we were going to do next and when Debbie or Danton told her, she would say, "THEN can we open presents?!" Ha. Later, on a whim, we decided to play the game "Outburst." I don't know if you know how this game is played, but it gets really loud and with twenty drunken hockey players in the same room together, I couldn't even hear myself think. I was laughing so hard my stomach muscles were sore the next day.

The next night was Christmas Eve and another one of the guys and his wife had a party, too. Everyone was kind of whipped from the Coles' party, though, so we just sat around and chatted by the fire, then went home early. The new goalie that I told you about in the last letter, Patrick LaLime, is French Canadian and his fiance was in town visiting for Christmas. When they left the party that night, they went around the room and gave everybody a kiss on each cheek and a hug. Some of the guys were a little uncomfortable getting a kiss from another man and I was just laughing. I thought it was sweet and I made them do it again for me at the New Years Eve party. They loved it.

Being the party animals that we are, we usually ring in the new year sound asleep in bed, but this year, Charley's Crab (GREAT restaurant) offered dinner to the team and wives so we went there after the game that night. I've never actually been in the east coast time zone to watch the ball drop in Times square so that was kind of neat to see it AS it happened, live, instead of four hours tape delayed. The team equipment manager, Tim Paris, passed out hats, noisemakers and streamers and everyone got a glass of champagne and there was a piano player that played the music - it turned out to be pretty fun. Dean's New Years kiss was pretty light, though, because in the game that night, he'd been hit in the mouth with a stick and about an inch below his bottom lip, the flesh was split all the way through and he had about four stitches. Oh well. Later, when we went home, we called my sister and brother-in-law in Alaska and were marvelling at how it was 1998 for us and still 1997 for them, and yet, we were talking real time on the phone. Ha. It doesn't take much to entertain us, I guess.

Regarding his split lip, when it happened in the game that night, there was no penalty called and the coach went ballistic. He was cursing so much that the ref threw him out of the game. I got there a little late and I knew the girls would be downstairs in the green room watching the game on closed circuit, so I headed that direction. On my way there, I passed a hallway that the coach was going through on the way to the locker room and I heard all the yelling. It was amazing, I heard cuss words I didn't even know were words. He definitely took about five years off his life with that tirade. Later in the game, Dean raised his hand to block a cross-check and caught his pinky between the two sticks. Almost lost the tip of his finger. He says that fingertip injuries hurt incredibly bad because there are so many nerve endings in your fingertips - they're very sensitive. My dad had one of his fingertips cut off in an accident a few years back and he agrees. I think the big strong men just want a little attention and TLC. Mom and I are on to the charade, but play along willingly.

As far as that new computer goes, it's wonderful, but it doesn't work yet. Apparently, the video card slipped a bit in shipping and when Dean turned it on for the first time, impulses went across more than one node at a time and it shorted out the card. I called tech support and was on the phone for 30 minutes before we figured this out and "Matt" said he would arrange for a new card to be shipped to us right away. We were supposed to have it on Friday. Well, the UPS fellow typically comes around 4 p.m. but by 6 p.m., when there had been no knocks on the door, I assumed there would be no delivery for the Trboyevich's that day. I called Gateway to get the UPS tracking number so I could call them to find out exactly when it was scheduled to be delivered. Gateway informed me that it actually hadn't left their dock yet and that UPS would pick it up on Monday to be delivered to us on Tuesday. I informed them that that was unacceptable as that was four days later than promised and what kind of compensation was I going to get for the extra long wait and hassle? This girl said, "Well, I suppose I could send you a pen or a mug or something..." I said, "How about some software or something instead?" She said they have a contract with Microsoft and can't give away their software. I said, "Well, what about a printer or a video cam or a scanner or something like that?" I knew I was shooting high here but you just never know until you ask. She said she couldn't give away such expensive items. I said, "Fine, send me a large T-shirt, maybe my husband will wear it and won't mind looking like a Gateway cow." Needless to say, I think she was happy to get me off the phone. Anyway, hopefully my next letter will be from Windows instead of this old Mac. It amazes me that four years ago, this computer was the hottest thing to hit the shelves and now, ugh.

Work is still going sort of okay, but I'm liking it less and less all the time. This man that I work for, Wayne Leistra, has such a short temper and he blows a gasket at the slightest thing. Last week, at the Monday morning staff meeting, he wouldn't even sit down, he just kept pacing the conference room for an hour, screaming at people. He doesn't give constructive criticism or even talk about their work, either, he attacks their character, calling them lazy slobs without an ounce of creative blood in them, blah, blah, blah and lots of cursing in between. He hasn't attacked me like this yet but everyone tells me my day will come, whether I deserve it or not, nobody is sacred. I don't know if I want to wait around that long, I'm having a horrible internal moral conflict watching him treat other people this way. I think he has a lot of insecurities, and I'm beginning to understand why he keeps a corporate psychiatrist on retainer. I suppose that actually says a lot about the man, eh? He's gone back on three promises that he made to me, too - one was even in writing on my initial job offer. I was supposed to get a great new computer set up with a laptop to take when I travel and a docking station for when I'm in the office. Instead, I got an old hand-me-down that nobody used and it's on it's last leg. I have troubles with it every day, he doesn't even realize how much money it's really costing him. Then he went back on his promise to pay for my tuition to continue with my masters degree this semester. Instead, now I have to wait until I'm employed for a year, and the latest, he's not paying for my ticket to Vegas to the CES show. That part of my trip is for business and I called him on all these things last week and fully expected it to be "my day" in the incinerator, but he just calmly said he wasn't going to do any of it and that was that. Live with it or don't, he didn't care. I gave him an earful and walked out, my heart was racing. We'll see if I still have a job on Monday. It didn't really seem to bother him, I get the impression that he gets yelled at a lot. I had to go home and tell Dean that now we had to buy the ticket, right after Christmas. A $400.00 charge because of my dishonest employer. I'm very frustrated with him. I guess I'll have to get everything in writing from now on. It's going to cost him even more money in the time it will take me to type up all our conversations, but oh well. He can live with it or not, I'm beginning not to care, too.

I was complaining about all this to Bill on the phone later that day and he reminded me that I do have a long term goal in mind and to just remember that I'm there to learn as much as I can. I wasn't sure if I could remember to stay focused on that so I actually put it on a piece of paper and taped it to my computer so I would have a constant reminder. As soon as we hung up the phone, I started writing down all my questions, such as terms that I had heard used in coversations that I needed to know definitions for, and then I made an appointment with one of our printers next week to go take a tour and see firsthand what happens to all our stuff when it leaves our office. I've resolved to learn as much as I can as quickly as I can, that way, if I decide not to put up with the heat anymore, I can leave with no regrets and a lot of knowledge under my belt. I've already spent a lot of time over the last couple months getting involved with creative output, learning what film separations are, varnishes, typography, good design, copywriting and the whole creative process, but I still have a lot to learn. I had actually never really thought of being creative as a "process", I always thought some people were just blessed with the ability to come up with great ideas, but there really is a method to the madness and steps to go through to get to those "slam bam" ideas. An organized way to be creative - what a concept. It's perfect for me. Ha. One thing is for sure, though, my skin is definitely getting thicker working for him, so that's a blessing in a convoluted sort of way, I guess.

I really am looking forward to this trip to Vegas in January, I've wanted to attend the Consumer Electronics Show for few years now. I'm scheduled for a seminar to hear Bill Gates speak, too, so that should be interesting, I hope. We'll see what's on the horizon for Microsoft. I'll have much more to tell you about next month, I have lots of other plans while I'm there, too. I have the whole following week off for vacation and Dad and Mom are going to drive up from Phoenix to visit with me. I get to stay with them in their brand new motor home. They bought one of those huge things that have the whole living room area that slides out on the side about another 8 feet so it's very spacious inside. Sigh, I wish I could retire. Ha.

I hope it's warm enough to take my golf clubs, because I've been gearing up for this trip going to an indoor driving range here. It's about 4 miles from my front door, and get this: it has two levels to hit off of. I was intrigued because I've seen them, but I've never actually been to a double decker driving range. Last week, we were on the top level and I couldn't miss, I was smacking them against the back wall every time. That's actually only about 100 yards, but, hey, they were straight as an arrow, and that's what counts. Of course, Dean was the only one with me to witness and he refuses to admit when I'm doing something better than him that's physical in any way, shape or form, so he'll never tell you what a great day I was having. Besides, at one point, he had dumped a bunch of balls on the ground to hit one right after the other, and when he hit one of them, he knocked about five others off the roof down below (we were on the second level) It made quite a clatter and I was laughing my head off. That didn't help, of course, but I couldn't help it. Also, when we went to the pro shop to get the tokens for a bucket of balls, the guy behind the counter noticed Dean's Griffins jacket that he got for Christmas and asked where he got it. Dean said it was a gift to the players from management and the guy freaked out. He told Dean to come on back anytime and he'd never have to pay for tokens again, he'd "totally" set us up. Good grief, I can't take him anywhere. Any more attention from this town, and Dean's head won't fit through our front door! It's a good thing he doesn't need a bodyguard.

We finally received our bedroom set a few weeks ago- it's absolutely beautiful. It's a dark mohagany wood (Queen Anne flavor) with a modernisitc twist. The design has arches, spheres, squares and it has little pyramids for handles on drawers and doors, etc. I wanted it to look like something out of Victorias Secret. We got a nightstand, an armoire, and a king size bed frame although we still only have our queen sized mattresses. It looks a little funny right now, but we'll get the mattresses soon. I couldn't justify another $1000 at the time. I'd like to get the matching dresser and mirror eventually, but considering that I was only supposed to get an armoire that day when I was out shopping, I figured that much extra would be too hard to explain to Dean when I got home. I guess I chickened out because I didn't want to make him toooooo mad. A little mad and I can deal with my guilt, tooooo mad is no good. I end up returning stuff and that's really a downer for the salesperson.

We've got some party animals that moved in next door. They've been up vacuuming at midnight, and partying til 4 a.m. regularly. Of course, their living room is right on the other side of our bedroom wall. The particular wall that happens to be six inches from the top of my head when I'm sleeping. Argh. Am I getting old? The music was so loud one night it was vibrating the bed and it actually made me mad. Five years ago, I could've found a positive in that somewhere. Sigh. I was so frustrated late one night / morning I stood up on the bed, let out an indian battle cry and threw my pillow at the wall. I thought Dean was awake, too, he's a very light sleeper, but apparently not. I scared the daylights out of him. He was a lot smarter than I was that night because he went to the junk drawer earlier and found some earplugs that he used while working construction last summer and put them in. He was sleeping like a baby and then awoke to find his wife standing on the bed screaming at a wall. Ha ha. Poor guy, he just doesn't know what to do with me sometimes. I called the management office the next day and they sent them a letter telling them to cool it so we'll see if it works. I just need my own house on my own piece of land, nice and secluded - this apartment living is for the birds.

My apologies, this letter has been a lot more negative than I intended. Either I'm getting cynical or it's just been a bad month. I'll shape up next month, I promise. Just two more bad things, then I'm done. Dean went into a depression last week because he found out one of his heros died, Chris Farley. Then he found out that Sienfeld was calling it quits on the same day. Poor guy, I didn't know how to console him. Mom never told me there would be days like this.

I guess in light of all that's happened this month, Dean and I should be thankful that we haven't thrown ourselves off the side of a building. It's amazing that we don't do drugs, either. Ha. Just kidding. We know that we have a lot to be thankful for and we've been blessed in many, many ways. Don't worry, we haven't lost sight of that. I just hope that next month will be a much more cheerful letter with lots of good things to report. Talk to you then!

Much love,
Tiffany